God Admits Turkeys Never Had a Chance
Nov26

God Admits Turkeys Never Had a Chance

HEAVEN – Saying he feels “pretty torn up about the whole thing,” God admitted today that Thanksgiving “bums him out” each year due to his part in the holiday’s mass slaughtering of turkeys. “Look, I know it’s a festival of togetherness,” God said. “And of course there’s going to be a feast, but 46 million killed a year for one day – and that’s just in the United States – I…I can’t just wash my hands of...

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