I Didn’t Know All You Had to Do to Scare People Was Be a Clown
Nov06

I Didn’t Know All You Had to Do to Scare People Was Be a Clown

As a professional monster, I take pride in my appearance. I make sure my nails are free of dirt and the splattered blood on my fitted suit is fresh, all in the hopes of coming home from a hard night at work safe in the knowledge that I’ve struck fear into a handful of hearts. Three hearts, to be exact. I’ve measured. Imagine my surprise to wake up one night to find that the source of a nation’s collective traumatization is a clown. A...

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Nation Gripped by Impending Clown Shortage
Feb18

Nation Gripped by Impending Clown Shortage

Is the laughter about to die in the world? It’s something we might have to potentially come to terms with, as clown colleges are quickly becoming ghost towns. Red floppy shoes sit alone with no feet to fill them. Not one unsuspecting dweeb will be depantsed. The giant red nose and trick flower industries forced to plan for their impending downfall. And why is this? Who is left to terrorize the youngest children of this world?...

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