Sweet Christ, They Let Chuck Lorre Into the White House
May03

Sweet Christ, They Let Chuck Lorre Into the White House

In what can only be described as the most horrific national security mistake ever committed in United States history, the White House allowed television producer and minion of Satan Chuck Lorre to roam its halls last week. He was there with Allison Janney, who remains a national treasure despite starring in a Chuck Lorre CBS sitcom called Mom (though I’m not convinced she’s not being forced to do it against her will)....

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One Chuck Lorre Show Down, Three More to Go
Feb26

One Chuck Lorre Show Down, Three More to Go

Chuck Lorre’s shows are the anal fissures of television. They’re excruciatingly uncomfortable and painful to sit through, and it often feels like there is no end in sight, no escape from the torture. But with the end of Two and a Half Men, we have been shown that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. These shows are not immortal beasts from hell; it is possible that they can die. For many of us, hope is once again a...

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Turns Out the Devil is Just Waiting for Us to Develop Artificial Intelligence
Oct27

Turns Out the Devil is Just Waiting for Us to Develop Artificial Intelligence

The devil is probably pretty mad at Elon Musk right now. The PayPal/Tesla/SpaceX founder, while being interviewed at the MIT AeroAstro Centennial Symposium, outed the demon of all demons by suggesting that he’s just hanging around in hell waiting for humanity to finally develop full artificial intelligence. According to Musk, artificial intelligence is the demon’s gateway to us, even though it’s always seemed like he...

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‘Two and a Half Men’: The Nightmare is Finally Over
May15

‘Two and a Half Men’: The Nightmare is Finally Over

There is finally a light at the end of the tunnel. For the past 11 years, the world has been subjected to the pain and torture of Two and a Half Men, a sitcom so bad that you’d be forgiven for thinking it was a parody. More mind-boggling is that it has consistently been one of the highest-rated shows on television, as the 11th season still averaged 9 million viewers. It’s enough to make you physically ill, and we still...

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