The Waffle Crisp Mascot Has Seen Some Shit
Feb10

The Waffle Crisp Mascot Has Seen Some Shit

Those eyes. “Free me from the pain of this existence,” they say. “I am prepared to meet my Creator,” they say. That stare. The way it looks so far beyond you, as if you don’t even exist. Like it is wholly transfixed on a dark and inescapable past, full of horrors unseen to the rest of the world. That smile. Plastered onto his face and terrifying in its frozen state, this is the surest sign of someone who...

Read More
The Cereal They Serve in Hell
Jan09

The Cereal They Serve in Hell

    More jokes, at no extra...

Read More
Chocolate Lucky Charms Are a Delicious Crime Against Nature
Jan05

Chocolate Lucky Charms Are a Delicious Crime Against Nature

In the cereal world these days, it seems that all brands are required to have a chocolate variation of some kind, no matter what kind of cereal the original offering is. And as a cereal consumer, it doesn’t matter if it feels wrong, like it goes against every fiber of your being to eat a chocolatized version of your favorite cereal; this is just the world in which we currently live. Kids especially want their chocolate for...

Read More
Is Franken Berry Gay?
Nov03

Is Franken Berry Gay?

Another Halloween has come and gone. And as it has left us, so too has the opportunity to indulge in General Mills’ various Monster Cereals, a delicious yearly treat that will also wreak havoc on your digestive system. This year was different, though, in that there were new box designs released with the help of DC Entertainment. But this year was also different in that my eyes were opened to Franken Berry’s life and...

Read More