The Loch Ness Monster, Beloved Cryptid, Dies at 1,465
Jun15

The Loch Ness Monster, Beloved Cryptid, Dies at 1,465

SCOTLAND – The Loch Ness Monster, noted cryptid, died today at the age of 1,465 after overdosing on barbiturates. The Monster, often the target of crazed fans and paparazzi, had long struggled with addiction, as depicted on season three of Celebrity Rehab. After ballooning to nearly three tons and going through a strange, Chris Gaines period in the ’90s, the Monster had recently attempted to get sober. Tragically, these...

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