The Morning Compute: May 13, 2016
May13

The Morning Compute: May 13, 2016

Here’s a story the LAMESTREAM MEDIA isn’t going to cover. Apparently, according to a “news” “outlet” called Food and Our Health, one brave Christian stood up to the heathens at NASA recently, said some stuff about the Bible, and everyone over there just figured he was right. And then to take it a step further, they just went ahead and assumed everything else in the Bible was true, too. Eat shit,...

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Sweet Christ, They Let Chuck Lorre Into the White House
May03

Sweet Christ, They Let Chuck Lorre Into the White House

In what can only be described as the most horrific national security mistake ever committed in United States history, the White House allowed television producer and minion of Satan Chuck Lorre to roam its halls last week. He was there with Allison Janney, who remains a national treasure despite starring in a Chuck Lorre CBS sitcom called Mom (though I’m not convinced she’s not being forced to do it against her will)....

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If CBS’ ‘The Briefcase’ Isn’t Exploitative, I Don’t Know What Is
Jun04

If CBS’ ‘The Briefcase’ Isn’t Exploitative, I Don’t Know What Is

There has been an incredible amount of backlash on the information superhighway about CBS’ newest reality television show, The Briefcase. If you’ve been too busy following real news stories (like various presidential bids, murder rates being at an all-time high in Baltimore, FIFA finally getting a little of the comeuppance it deserves, etc.), basically, the show is about two families that each receive a briefcase full of money...

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One Chuck Lorre Show Down, Three More to Go
Feb26

One Chuck Lorre Show Down, Three More to Go

Chuck Lorre’s shows are the anal fissures of television. They’re excruciatingly uncomfortable and painful to sit through, and it often feels like there is no end in sight, no escape from the torture. But with the end of Two and a Half Men, we have been shown that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. These shows are not immortal beasts from hell; it is possible that they can die. For many of us, hope is once again a...

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CBS to Add “Gasp Track” to Dramas
Nov26

CBS to Add “Gasp Track” to Dramas

HOLLYWOOD – In a bold move, CBS announced today that it will be adding “gasp tracks” to all of its televised dramas following the holiday break. “Looking at the numbers for Two and a Half Men, Mike & Molly and The Big Bang Theory, it’s clear that Americans don’t have time to think about the shows they’re watching,” said Martin Shapiro, CBS programming director. “They want to be told when to laugh, and when to laugh really...

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