Millennials Host Artisanal Craft Beard Competition, Reports New York Times Writing Bot
Feb04

Millennials Host Artisanal Craft Beard Competition, Reports New York Times Writing Bot

NEW YORK – An artisanal beard-crafting competition in Bushwick went off without a hitch, according to The New York Times‘ newest reporter, a tenacious young article-writing software program named New York Times Article Writing Bot v. 1.01. Millennial pieces are a necessity for lifestyle reporting, and writing them is notoriously monotonous and stressful, demanding a combination of accuracy, speed and the ability to rapidly...

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King Kong Just Not Sure What the Point Is Anymore
Oct27

King Kong Just Not Sure What the Point Is Anymore

NEW YORK CITY – Citing the typical rut that comes with big-city living, King Kong – once the most feared monster in the country and, arguably, the world – now finds himself in a state of existential despair. “What’s the point of all this anymore?” the gigantic ape said. “I terrorize a city full of 8.4 million people, but I’ve never felt more alone.” Residents have remarked recently...

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