‘Game of Thrones’ Episode 11: Battle of the Black Friday
Nov25

‘Game of Thrones’ Episode 11: Battle of the Black Friday

The night is dark and full of terrors, but leading the 5 a.m. Macy’s line on Black Friday is a fear unimaginable, with a fate worse than Hodor’s. Let’s see what each GoT character wants to snag before winter comes. Cercei Lannister: 50% Off Plywood At Lowe’s Dearest Cersei lost all three children, took down religion, and blew up the center of Westeros. She is going to need all the wood Lowe’s has to offer to successfully...

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Federal Government Releases Strategic Kohl’s Cash Reserves
Nov27

Federal Government Releases Strategic Kohl’s Cash Reserves

WASHINGTON – In a move being decried by most economists, the Federal Reserve Bank released more than $2 trillion in strategic Kohl’s Cash reserves today to free up resources for those trying to get by this holiday season. Would-be business owner Jessica Massy doesn’t understand the backlash. “I was able to trade in the Kohl’s Cash I had saved over the years for the keys to an old liquor store down the...

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16 Black Friday Shopping Tips
Nov25

16 Black Friday Shopping Tips

Black Friday shopping is stressful, but it doesn’t have to be! With these 16 tips, you’ll be nabbing up sweet deals and taking care of business all day long. Sleeping in front of Best Buy can double as that camping trip you promised your son. You may not think you need more bath towels, but you haven’t truly lived until you’ve bought one at 90% off! Fun fact: Black Friday is named for the color your soul...

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Walmart’s “Bigger & Blacker Black Friday” Comes to Merciful End
Dec08

Walmart’s “Bigger & Blacker Black Friday” Comes to Merciful End

Salt Lake City, UT – Little more than a week after Walmart’s “Bigger & Blacker Black Friday” started, peace has finally returned to Salt Lake City after moderation from the United Nations. The event officially ended on Saturday, December 6th. That was when store manager Chad Wellmington finally disabled the booby traps and opened the doors, permitting customers to finally leave the store and experience daylight....

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Link-Sharing Protocol, Version 6.0: ‘The Big Bang Theory’ is as Atrocious as Ever
Dec02

Link-Sharing Protocol, Version 6.0: ‘The Big Bang Theory’ is as Atrocious as Ever

The continued dominance of The Big Bang Theory remains a mystery for the most part. There are certainly plenty of viable theories as to how it stays such a massive success (its presence on CBS and constant exposure to old geezers who have no idea that other channels exist or are too lazy to change it to something else, the generally bad taste of American audiences, etc.), but they all still feel impossible when you actually attempt to...

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