‘Sucker Punch’ is Exactly Why Zack Snyder Will Ruin ‘Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice’
Mar22

‘Sucker Punch’ is Exactly Why Zack Snyder Will Ruin ‘Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice’

In just a couple days, Batman v Superman: Dawn of Warner Bros and DC Pretending They Are Marvel will grace cinemas with groundbreaking CGI scowl matches between grumpy Ben Affleck and pouty Henry Cavill. While a sizable portion of the geek community is beside itself with anticipation, I will be avoiding it like sanity avoids a Donald Trump rally. In fact, I am actively rooting for it to fail. Because I hate Zack Snyder. Zack Snyder is...

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Bernie Sanders Tells Group of Children He is Blade
Aug18

Bernie Sanders Tells Group of Children He is Blade

MANCHESTER, N.H. – Just days after Donald Trump told children he was Batman, presidential candidate Bernie Sanders announced to a group of children that he was, in fact, the superhero Blade after being asked by a young boy. “Yeah I’m Blade, sure,” Sanders said, referring to the half-human, half-vampire African-American vampire hunter. “Which should come as absolutely no surprise to anyone.” Standing at the podium, the frail, old...

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‘Batman: Arkham Knight’ and the Trick of Storytelling in Video Games
Jul20

‘Batman: Arkham Knight’ and the Trick of Storytelling in Video Games

Video games have come a long way as a storytelling medium. The limitations of old have been supplanted by advanced technology that has created magic boxes capable of creating rich worlds in which game developers can spin all kinds of yarns. We are living in a golden-age utopia, provided you ignore everything else going on in the world. But for as far as games have come, there are certain issues inherent in trying to tell a story. The...

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A Week of Beating Up Gotham: ‘Batman: Arkham Knight,’ Part 2
Jun29

A Week of Beating Up Gotham: ‘Batman: Arkham Knight,’ Part 2

The rain was coming down hard. Hard enough to wake me from my sleep. And in those first few moments, I was genuinely unsure if the rain was real or if it was simply the downpour in Gotham that was still buzzing in my head. Staying up until four in the morning gliding through the skyline will do that, I guess. So as not to bury the lede, I’ll just start by saying this: I’m loving Batman: Arkham Knight. There are some issues, but...

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Waiting for a Dark Knight: ‘Batman: Arkham Knight,’ Part 1
Jun22

Waiting for a Dark Knight: ‘Batman: Arkham Knight,’ Part 1

“You are 27 years old!” That was my mother’s reaction in a recent conversation when I told her I had taken off a day of work in order to spend it playing Batman: Arkham Knight after its release, the unsaid subtext being, “You are a goddamn adult.” I know my mom, and she was trying to be funny and give me a good ribbing, but the joke’s on her because I never have nor ever will be an adult if my binders of Darkwing Duck spec...

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