So Your Lover Believes the Earth Is Flat
May25

So Your Lover Believes the Earth Is Flat

1. Forgive him. 2. No, don’t forgive him. Science is important, and the shape of our world is not to be re-negotiated on a conspiratorial whim. 3. He’s so handsome, though. 4. And he always comes through in the clutch, like when LeBron is exhausted or in foul trouble. 5. Find a decent compromise. Perhaps the Earth could be shaped like a pickle, a refrigerator box, or a sleeping duck. 6. Your love with your lover is...

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Scientists Reveal That LeBron James Will Be First Human to Conquer Death
May23

Scientists Reveal That LeBron James Will Be First Human to Conquer Death

BOSTON – At last, the search for the Fountain of Youth is over. In an article in the world-renowned scientific journal Nature, a team of Oxford researchers studying the mechanisms of aging reported that they had identified the first human being who will live indefinitely and that human being happens to be the basketball superstar LeBron James of the Cleveland Cavaliers. The report sent shockwaves through the scientific world and...

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Hillary Clinton Opens ‘Cavs Hats’ Box
Jun20

Hillary Clinton Opens ‘Cavs Hats’ Box

    More jokes, at no extra...

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Nice: FiveThirtyEight Gives the Golden State Warriors a 69% Chance to Win the NBA Finals
Jun01

Nice: FiveThirtyEight Gives the Golden State Warriors a 69% Chance to Win the NBA Finals

The 2016 NBA Finals are here, and boy should they be a doozy. It features a rematch between the Cleveland Cavaliers and the defending champion, record-breaking Golden State Warriors. The only difference this time is that LeBron James has a fully healthy roster behind him, and a random fan from the stands won’t be asked to play ten minutes every game just to give the starters a breather. Still, FiveThirtyEight, which is in the...

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Kobe Bryant Gives Teammate Special Farewell By Remembering His Name
Apr14

Kobe Bryant Gives Teammate Special Farewell By Remembering His Name

LOS ANGELES – As Kobe Bryant’s legendary basketball career comes to a close, the five-time NBA champion and surefire Hall of Famer bestowed a special farewell upon teammate Jordan Clarkson Wednesday night, finally calling him by his real name. “I knew being a part of Kobe’s final game would be a memorable experience,” Clarkson said. “But when he said ‘Go where I tell you to go on the court,...

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