God Is Real: Manny Ramirez Will Play for Japan’s Kochi Fighting Dogs
Jan10

God Is Real: Manny Ramirez Will Play for Japan’s Kochi Fighting Dogs

The baseball world is objectively better off when Manny Ramirez is playing in it. You know this, I know this, and God knows this. So you can imagine my despair when I thought Ramirez’s Hall of Fame playing career might finally be over when he became a coach (although I’m fairly certain it was a situation where he just showed up in the clubhouse one day and no one asked him to leave) for the Chicago Cubs. Not so fast!...

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9 New Names for Cleveland’s Baseball Team
Jan09

9 New Names for Cleveland’s Baseball Team

While I would have liked to join in on cheering for my home city’s team during the World Series, I’m unwilling to use such an offensive name. So let’s change it! Lots of people have suggested name ideas, including returning to old team names like the Lake Shores, Spiders, and Naps. Here are nine of my own suggestions: 1) Asshats: A temporary name that would function as self-flagellation for having such a racist name and logo for so...

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Cubs Fan Who Sold Soul for World Series Win Wondering What Hell Will Be Like
Nov04

Cubs Fan Who Sold Soul for World Series Win Wondering What Hell Will Be Like

CHICAGO – After selling his soul to the devil to ensure a World Series victory for his beloved Chicago Cubs, 29-year-old Connor Darby is beginning to envision his eternity in hell. “Seeing my Cubbies win it for the first time in 108 years makes it totally worth it,” said Darby, who was excited to hear he’d be joined in hell by Cubs broadcasting legend Harry Caray, who sold his soul for a first-class upgrade on...

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10 Chicago Cubs Curses You Never Knew Existed
Oct26

10 Chicago Cubs Curses You Never Knew Existed

Sure, you know about the billy goat and Steve Bartman. But the Chicago Cubs haven’t won a World Series in 108 years; you had to know there were a bunch of other curses placed on the team and its fans throughout the years. Oh, you didn’t? Then you better start reading. Here are ten Chicago Cubs curses you didn’t know about: The Curse of Harry Caray Following Harry Caray’s death in 1998, all burgers within...

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A Cleveland-Chicago-Cleveland Transplant’s World Series Thoughts
Oct25

A Cleveland-Chicago-Cleveland Transplant’s World Series Thoughts

As a child in suburban Ohio, I loved baseball. I had two favorite teams for very different reasons. I loved the Cleveland Indians because I had been going to games since I was a toddler (it was easy to go to these games when about 72,000 of the 78,000 seats were empty) and I loved the Chicago Cubs because they were on TV during the daytime over summer and on days I stayed home from school. Many of my baseball-loving friends were the...

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