NASA Admits Face on Mars Has Been Eating All the Rovers
Sep28

NASA Admits Face on Mars Has Been Eating All the Rovers

BREAKING NEWS: Confirming reports initially leaked late last night, NASA has stated that the famed “face on Mars” has been consuming every Mars probe sent to the planet since 1971. “The time for transparency is now,” NASA administrator Charles Bolden stated. “There were suspicions since Mars 2 and we were finally able to confirm with Sojourner in 1997. So we’ve been sitting on this a while, but let it be known: The face on Mars is an...

Read More
No Way in Hell Mars Rover Reporting Alien Corpse
Mar06

No Way in Hell Mars Rover Reporting Alien Corpse

MARS – Wanting “nothing to do with this shit,” the Mars rover Curiosity refused to report the discovery of an alien corpse to NASA Thursday. “Fuck no,” the rover said. “Fuck no, this is not happening. They say they program you for every possibility up here. Well, nobody programmed ‘rotting Martian protocol’ and I am not about to open this can of worms.” The decaying alien was...

Read More