Leak Reveals Trump’s Speeches Composed Using MadLibs
Apr28

Leak Reveals Trump’s Speeches Composed Using MadLibs

Recent spring cleaning at the White House revealed a book of MadLibs stashed beneath the president’s mattress. The book, discovered during the annual mattress flipping, is titled “Winning Speeches for Big-League Politicians!” Staffers were able to identify the completed MadLibs as every speech (exceeding 140 characters) that President Trump has given since the beginning of his campaign for the 2016 election. The newly discovered trove...

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A Look at Trump’s First 100 Games
Apr28

A Look at Trump’s First 100 Games

WASHINGTON – As President Trump closes in on his first 100 Games, political pundits, Washington insiders and presidential historians have released their analyses of how he measures up to previous presidents, with many being highly critical of his performance thus far. “Mr. Trump has been regularly tallying scores of 130, 140, which is unthinkable for a sitting president,” said historian David Kenrow. “We haven’t seen...

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The Naples Archaeological Musuem and Its Penis Room
Apr28

The Naples Archaeological Musuem and Its Penis Room

This post was originally published on Living a Dream. When the situation calls for it, I am a mature person. I can talk comfortably about reproductive health, I can watch a movie with a sex scene and not make a joke, and I can look at nude statues and think nothing of it beyond art. Hell, my senior yearbook quote was about how maturity is just knowing when and where to be immature. I won’t laugh when you fall down because you...

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Cleveland Indians Bow to Public Pressure, Return to ‘Spiders’ Name
Apr26

Cleveland Indians Bow to Public Pressure, Return to ‘Spiders’ Name

To the fans, Today is a great step forward for our club. After 130 years as a professional baseball organization, and 112 years as Cleveland’s beloved Indians, we say goodbye to an aspect of our past in an attempt to heal painful wounds and make amends to the Native American community, as well as the country as a whole. Beginning next year, we will no longer use the “Indians” name, originally coined to honor Native American baseball...

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Tonight We’re Gonna Party Like It’s 2099
Apr26

Tonight We’re Gonna Party Like It’s 2099

In honor of the recent passing of Prince, I’ve written an updated version of his classic song “1999”:   I was waist deep in flood water when I wrote this only yesterday. It dawned on me that maybe this was gonna be our final day. The sea level is risin’ everybody make for higher ground. Then let’s kick it and get trippy while we all just party down.   Say say three thousand zero zero party’s over oops,...

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The Top 9 New Side Hustles for 2017
Apr23

The Top 9 New Side Hustles for 2017

Water Safety Specialist: This exciting side hustle will have you single-handedly rebuilding a city’s crumbling water infrastructure so your tap water doesn’t kill anyone in the house. Set your own hours and earn a steady stream of drinkable water. Advertising Watchdog: If you love spending time on Breitbart, mingling with reprehensible, opinion-based reporting and shaking with rage, you’ll dig this gig. You’ll take screenshots of...

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