1. It’s up to you to decide if the couch is a place you sit or an object you eat. 2. No more “I’ll eat my couch tomorrow” – eat it today. 3. It comes down to one simple thing: how badly do you want to eat your couch? 4. A couch is nothing more than the frame, the padding, and the covering. 5. When someone says “You can’t eat that couch,” what they really mean is “I can’t eat that couch.” 6. Just remember, somewhere, a little Chinese girl is eating twice the amount of couches you are. 7. The couch will eat you if…
Author: Vijay Ilankamban
Vijay Ilankamban
Vijay Ilankamban is a writer based in New York City, NY. He has studied fiction writing at the Gotham Writers' Workshop & satire writing at The Second City (Online Satire & The Onion). He has had a few pieces published by Robot Butt, The Big Jewel and The Higgs-Weldon.