Scenes From NRAmerica
Jul08

Scenes From NRAmerica

[On the way to the nightclub] WOMAN: Hey, you look great. Where are you going? ROOMMATE: To the club. You’re sure I look okay? WOMAN: Terrific. ROOMMATE: These shoes are alright? WOMAN: Perfect. ROOMMATE: What about this gun? Does it make me look fat? WOMAN: No, but now that you mention it, don’t you think an ankle holster would look better? ROOMMATE: I do, but I want to dance. WOMAN: You can’t dance with an ankle holster? ROOMMATE: I...

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I’m Not on Snapchat. Here’s What That’s Like
Jun16

I’m Not on Snapchat. Here’s What That’s Like

Snapchat is a popular app that shows you an image on your phone and then, once the image is firmly lodged in your head, deletes that image from your phone. So that’s fun. I’m not on it, so people often ask me, “Hey, what’s it like to be the only person not on Snapchat?” Me: Hi Dad. What’s up? Dad: Just thinking about the war crimes I committed in Iraq. Me: What? Dad: Nothing. Me: No, what did you say? Dad: I don’t know. It’s gone now....

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