Author: Tim Gaydos

Tim is a contributor for Robot Butt and is not hosting a parasitic xenomorph inside him, so just don't worry about it, ok? You can disagree with his opinions on Twitter @timthinksthings.

We are now six months into the global COVID-19 pandemic and you know what would really hit the spot? A film series all about a different pandemic! Really helps take your mind off your troubles, don’t you think? That was our mindset anyway, which is why for our latest episode of The Franchise Strikes Back we dove into 28 Days Later and 28 Weeks Later (hereto referred as the 28 series). This influential zombie series brought fast zombies to the mainstream, and helped kick off a resurgence in the genre in the early 2000s. It also helps show that as…

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Do you like movies? We do! Too much according to our therapist! But the silver lining of that is you now have a brand-new podcast to listen to! Today we launch The Franchise Strikes Back, a new biweekly podcast (which you can check out on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and wherever else you get your podcasts)! Join Steve, Linton, and myself as we dive into film franchises to talk the good, the bad, and the commercially mandated. Where did a particular series go wrong? Which properties should continue forever? Which ones are so weird and bizarre it’s a miracle we got…

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Salutations to you, good sir or madam. Though you may not remember me, I assure you we have crossed paths before. While I do sincerely hope this finds you well, there is a rather serious matter I find I must broach with you. You may ask yourself what I, a nineteenth-century gaslighter, could possibly find necessary to discuss with you. As it happens, your insistence of using “gaslighter” as a pejorative term has irreparably harmed the reputation of my noble craft and I am, as you would say, “not having it.” I will hastily agree with you that those who…

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It hasn’t even been a week since the last debate, and here we fucking go again. For some reason the DNC thought it would be a great idea to schedule three debates all within the shortest month of the year; meanwhile, I’m still hungover from last time. Not to mention these are all starting to blur together, as I included Tom Steyer in the last ranking despite his not qualifying for the debate. But after triple-checking on Google and asking my cat to give it a once-over just in case, I can confirm he is in fact a part of…

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Fucking hell, didn’t we just do this? Not even two weeks removed from the last primary debate, the Democratic Party is trotting out their remaining candidates back onto the stage to remind us just how long and horrid our election cycles are. These debates will be the death of us. At least there have been some shakeups. After both Iowa and New Hampshire, we are starting to get a more concrete view of the field and who we can expect to continue forward. But while we lost a Yang, we have gained a Bloomberg. It’s always one step forward, two…

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Valentine’s Day is upon us once again, and it can be a tough time for people who find themselves between relationships. There are many reasons you might find yourself single on our national coupling holiday. Maybe you haven’t found the right person yet. Maybe you are spending time working on yourself and your life priorities. Maybe your obsession with QAnon has driven people away, as they just could not handle your need to open their eyes to the truth. Whatever the case may be, take solace knowing there are still things you can do to celebrate even if no one…

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Welcome to our post-Iowa world, folks! I missed last month’s debate due to being sick to my stomach for non-election-related reasons, but I’m back with the power hour rankings for the February Democratic primary debate! May we not be judged too harshly for our follies. With the shitstorm that was the Iowa caucus behind us (well, maybe), primary season has truly begun and everyone can agree we hate it. To add insult to injury, we still have to put up with these debates because our election cycle now spans three years. But that’s where our friend alcoholism comes in, so…

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Ho, ho, ho, everyone! It’s Christmastime and Santa is bringing us all a brand-new primary debate because we have all been awful this year. The good news is we are down to just seven candidates who will be on the stage, though this is bad news for the other candidates who aren’t Michael Bloomberg and desperately need visibility to keep their campaigns going. But hey, even visibility wasn’t enough to save Kamala Harris’ campaign, so let’s default to nothing really matters in the end. With that in mind, we might as well enable these nihilistic tendencies by getting wrecked on…

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It’s a weird time to be a Star Wars fan. Friday sees the release of The Rise of Skywalker, bringing an end to the saga George Lucas began all the way back in 1977. Of course, this isn’t really the end. Disney has plans to keep producing Star Wars content until the end of time, just as Return of the Jedi was never the end and numerous books laid down the groundwork for what was then the Extended Universe. Climate change may kill all us humans, but I am confident there will still be new Star Wars content for the…

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Hello America! It’s time for another round of our new favorite pastime: Democratic primary debates! We are still well into the double-digits for candidates, and it seems even as some finally start dropping out we are being cursed with more campaigns we won’t be able to keep track of. It’s enough to make Kingdom Hearts seem restrained. Fortunately, this next debate whittled things down to a mere ten candidates who will be sharing the stage. There are Broadway shows with less people on the stage at one time. It’s a lot. But I am here to help, with a helpful ranking…

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