Author: Steve DiMatteo

Steve is an editor for Robot Butt. You can follow him on Twitter @steve_dimatteo.

I went to a marketing conference this week and here are some of the buzzwords, phrases and job titles I came across: thought leadership social media rock star digital leadership strategic storyteller demand generator digital enthusiast content catalyst content innovator brand-builder marketing pro creative powerhouse content mixologist brand advocate social marketing enthusiast content personalization customer journey strategic demand generation content marketing monster social digital leader chief storyteller actionable marketer competitive intelligence humanizing your brand content enthusiast curious curator Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go clean up the mess I made.

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One Direction has a new white-bread song out called “Drag Me Down” and it’s the group’s attempt at an edgier tone, which, apparently, also includes some very harsh lyrics. Gone are the days of teeny-bopper boy band love lyrics; One Direction is now embracing the idea that hurling insults at a woman is the true way to her heart. You can see it in the way they flat-out insult the girl in “Drag Me Down.” Look at this verse (repeated twice in the song so she really gets the message): I’ve got fire for a heart, I’m not scared of…

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I used to think that Chris Christie was the biggest heel in the field of 2016 Republican presidential candidates, but Mike Huckabee – a wet fart in human form – has run away with the title in the past few months. First, he told a delightful anecdote about wishing he would have told his high school gym teacher that he identified as a woman so he could shower with girls. Now, he can be seen ruining “Eye of the Tiger” forever and escorting Kim Davis out of jail following her release for simply not doing her job. This wasn’t due to religious…

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The one thing I learn every month as I look through the list of search terms used to find Robot Butt is that society is depraved. And often pretty confused. But don’t worry, that’s why we’re here. You just cozy up with your good pals at Robot Butt at we’ll tell you eeeeverything you’ll ever need to know, including whether or not Beyoncé is a man. Here are some of our favorite search terms from last month: beautiful men who poop history of pizza how would i get money in my account when sell my soul to devil super soaker watch panda sex…

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The time is here again, students! That’s right, it’s time for you to trade in your beach balls and sunglasses for textbooks and sweater vests, because another new school year is upon us! But you’re not going to learn anything valuable in school, you can bet on that. The only things you’ll ever need to know you’ll get from your dear old friends at Robot Butt. And what good timing, because this week is Back to School Week! For this entire week, we’ll be cramming so much knowledge into you that you’ll be begging for it to stop by Wednesday.…

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As humans, we have been blessed with qualities that not only separate us from the animals, but allow us to explore our roles in the universe and to pursue endeavors that enrich our own lives. Most importantly, we have also been blessed with the gift of love and knowing what it means to be loved. But love is an elusive muse, and there is never any guarantee that we will experience it for ourselves. It is why we are all constantly searching for it, desperate to find it throughout our lives. But once we do find love, we cling to it and…

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The first of many, many mind-numbing debates leading up to the 2016 presidential election took place Thursday night, and here are ten thoughts I had while watching it: 1. There is no universe in which Donald Trump will be president, but I’ll gladly enjoy him in the race for as long as he lasts. He makes me feel like we could one day see a Muppet run for office. 2. I’m positive that if Ted Cruz was elected, ISIS would somehow get its hands on him and pull his underpants over his head. They wouldn’t outright kill him; they’d just…

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For some reason, people are sad about the gruesome beheading of hitchBOT, the hitchhiking robot that was trying to make its way from Massachusetts to California. HitchBOT met his end in Philadelphia last week, which means everyone is using it as an opportunity to dust off their favorite Philadelphia jokes. Of course, since hitchBOT was able to travel across all of Canada and much of Germany, people are also using this as an excuse to rail on Americans for being brainless heathens. While that might be true much of the time, the world should be thanking the United States for killing hitchBOT…

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Here are some of the best search terms used to find Robot Butt in July (and, as always, these phrases are listed exactly as we found them): archie meets jesus hot grandpa what do you call a person who poops with the door open butt shrinking spell 16 little known batman facts (note: we have 25!) a dog that is driving a car i dont get reddit biggest booty lick ass for money when will aliens make contact www.sex butt.com isis pizza butt loving moms goblin real life dino boner how to not want to kiss with your cousin husband…

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The Cleveland Indians celebrated mascot Slider’s 25th birthday last Sunday, complete with appearances from a bunch of his friends from various teams, including Screech (Nationals), Ace (Blue Jays), Gapper (Reds), Paws (Tigers), Stomper (Athletics), the Phillie Phanatic and this guy: All in all, it was a day of much fanfare (even though any celebration without Slugerrr just doesn’t feel right), as Slider and his gang went around the stadium throughout the game to hang out with fans and cause mischief. But as he hits the quarter-century mark, surrounded by his best friends (although he was iced out by his Cleveland…

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