Author: The Robot Butt Staff

It’s been almost 20 years since we first met the students at P.S. 118. Over the course of 100 episodes, the kids of Hey Arnold! made themselves at home in our hearts. But what do they look like now? Arnold The football-headed star of the show grew up in a boarding house run by his grandparents. With the cast of characters that came through the house, Arnold really wore that instability on his face, and continues to do so to this day. Helga Helga Pataki carried the effects of her long-held but never-realized crush on Arnold throughout her life. The constant…

Every day we’re exposed to ads from savvy marketers looking to draw us to brands in any way possible. While celebrities, sex appeal and humor are common tools of advertising, they aren’t the only ones used to target us. Let’s take a look at some particularly crafty, and sneaky, gimmicks that are easy to miss. 1) Fed Ex This classic example utilizes white space in a novel way to hammer home its message. Look between the “E” and the “x.” See the arrow? This clever choice reminds the consumer that Fed Ex is fast and always on the go! 2)…

Bronson Robot Butt is two years young, and what a two years it’s been. My favorite memory this year has got to be when Variety sourced us as the ones to first break the news of Chris Rock hosting the Oscars. Of course, what they didn’t know is that Chris is one of our biggest fans, and an occasional guest writer for the site. After he gave us the scoop on the news, he invited us to join him on stage for the big night! Make sure to tune in to the 2016 Oscars pre-show livestream to catch the Robot Butt…

If you’re a true Friends fanatic, you’ve heard most of the fan theories out there – Joey was a ghost?! – but this new theory will COMPLETELY change the way you watch your favorite show! According to Friends superfan John Tamhopper, there are endless clues throughout the series that prove without a doubt that Ross and Rachel were actually siblings! That’s right – they were engaging in full-on incest and knew about it the entire time! “The clues are really right there from the start,” Tamhopper said on a recent episode of his podcast FriendsZone. “It’s all about taking those clues the writers…

The Robot Butt staff received this email from a reader named Todd this week: Hey Lisa. I know you said you’re done with me, but hear me out. I have it figured out. I have to prove to you that I deserve you back, so that’s what I’m going to do. I’m sorry for a lot of things – the sink handles, the kitchen cupboard, and obviously the nightstand – and it’s my plan to make things right. Step 1: Buy you a new nightstand. This one is self-explanatory. Step 2: Offer to watch Love Actually with you. I saw…

Long hailed as one of the Beatles’ and pop music’s greatest songs, fans are often surprised to learn the tune also claims the record for highest number of successful false advertisement lawsuits. In fact, more than six million separate lawsuits have been successfully brought against the song’s rights-holders by lonely, desperate men who believed “she” had in fact loved them. Many plaintiffs have stated the lyrics “It’s you she’s thinking of” and “you know you should be glad” were particularly egregious. The standard legal payout amounts to $12.67, about the price of a modest meal for one.

Here’s a picture of a guy milking his cow, but this really doesn’t look right. If I were at a library computer right now, I’d be looking over my shoulder constantly, wondering how the adult content filters didn’t catch the obscenity of that frothy mix being stroked into the bucket. Look, I know this is supposed to be a picture of someone milking a cow. But could you in good conscience show this image to a child? I’ve always heard that Asian porn is bizarre. Is this what people are talking about? Is this Asian porn? I mean…how…

As the first state in the nation to have an actual primary vote, New Hampshire holds a ton of significance in the race for the White House. If you flounder here, your campaign could be toast. Put up a great showing as an underdog, though, and it could be just what you need to get your campaign rolling. So if you’re serious about becoming the next president, you need to prove to New Hampshire residents that you truly love the state more than the rest of those posers you’re running against. Be sure to utilize these tips as you campaign in…

1. “Careless Whisper” – George Michael Whoa! Bet you never thought George Michael would dance with cats! 2. “Hey Jude” – The Beatles Paul really loved his childhood cat, huh? 3. “Gangster’s Paradise” – Coolio MIND. BLOWN. 4. “…And Justice For All” – Metallica Didn’t know this one was about cats? That’s ’cause you’re stupid! 5. “Night On Bald Mountain” – Modest Mussorgsky Shut the fuck up! For real?! 6. “Who Let The Dogs Out?” – Baha Men No, really, stop. I can’t do this anymore. I…I thought my journalism degree would get me further than…

Ted Cruz looks like: The manager of an under-performing Hardee’s The grotesque result of Microsoft Office Assistant Clippy’s wish to become a real boy Your coworker Lloyd from Accounts Payable who eats alone at his desk during the company Christmas party A gremlin that found a suit A fart that materialized into a human being The guy who got Pantera banned from your hometown He always had his hair combed as a kid and had to wear a suit on picture day Your neighbor who calls 911 when your dogs bark Geppetto’s real, disowned son A poorly-disguised vampire A proper smile…