Author: The Robot Butt Staff

We're the Robot Butt staff, hired right after the experiment of typewriting monkeys went horribly wrong.

This week marks the official start of autumn, which means it’s OFFICIALLY spooky season. While you make the appropriate preparations for this holy time, be sure to check out this week’s recommendations on what to be watching: Absentia (2011): Mike Flanagan, the man cursed by a haunted scroll to make a new horror movie every year until he dies, started out with this low-budget affair courtesy of a Kickstarter campaign. It’s moody and makes the most of its limited budget, and you can see some of the promise he would make good on in later efforts. Recommended for fans of…

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We take our Spookening responsibilities very seriously here at Robot Butt, which is why we’re starting the festivities even earlier this year. So if you’re as dedicated to the Spookening as we are, check out this week’s recommendations for what to watch as we begin the march towards Halloween: Images (1972): This atmospheric Robert Altman film belongs firmly in the genre of “maybe she’s born with it, maybe she’s stark raving mad” alongside The Yellow Wallpaper, Repulsion, The Innocents, and others. Well-shot with a strong central performance by Susannah York, its goal is to mostly be eerie and keep you…

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The world is freaking out about the spread of a novel coronavirus, and rightfully so. It appears no country has gotten a handle on what to do about it yet, which means it could soon find its way to your doorstep. Here’s how to prepare for when you inevitably face the coronavirus: Be sure to seal your children in an air-tight room for the duration of the virus. Why wear one flu mask when you can wear twenty-five? The government has permitted one free kill for every citizen during this crisis – choose yours wisely! Make sure to cut back…

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More than any other sport, giveaways and promotions are an essential, ingrained aspect of baseball. And throughout the years, there have been some real doozies – Ten Cent Beer Night, Disco Demolition Night… not to mention all of the wacky things going on down in the minors. But the Cleveland Indians really seem to be taking their penchant for weird promotions to a new level (they were, after all, the team behind Ten Cent Beer Night). And it’s been going on for a while, right under our noses! Look what they were rolling out just a few years ago: Okay,…

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Everyone knows that if you work as a Disney theme park character, you have to stay in character. That means never breaking, never revealing yourself to be anything but that character you’re playing. But did you know there are a bunch of phrases that are absolutely off-limits for Disney park characters to say – no matter what? Here are 25 of them: “Gadget from the Rescue Rangers is sexy” “Pumba is the bottom” “Trust me, Buzz Lightyear is anatomically correct” “Winnie the Pooh will eat your daughter, no joke” “All the urinals deposit into Splash Mountain” “Walt Disney’s head would very…

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When it comes to film decades, the 1990s was definitely one of them. From father-figure Terminators and weirdly sexy animated Disney characters to rampaging dinosaurs and an era before we knew Kevin Spacey was a rampaging sex criminal, the ’90s truly had it all. And with technology improving at such a rapid pace during the decade, we were treated to some of the most innovative movies of all time, from Pixar’s early dominance to the completely CGI Jeff Goldblum of Jurassic Park. For such a great era of filmmaking, it’s difficult to pare it all down to the top movies…

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1. Trump was noticeably rattled that Cap’n Crunch didn’t accept his invite to be an official guest. 2. Unexpected turn for Trump to invite the delegation of Illuminati lizard-people. Real “masks off” moment for the GOP. 3. Trump is courting the 18-to-25-year-old vote with his new proposal to provide a Juul to every registered voter. 4. Did anyone else see that white worm-like figure crawl out of Trump’s ear? 5. Bold move on Trump’s part to suggest adding a Supreme Court Justice. Bolder still to suggest it be the Noid. 6. Wild that Trump said Nancy Pelosi hates Fortnite and…

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Death Panels (1989) Beauregard Fenimore Rothschild IV was supposed to undergo a routine knee surgery in one of the finest hospitals in New York. A merry mix-up involving a forgetful limo driver and some misfiled medical forms, however, gets him a one-way ticket to the state penitentiary clinic. With doctors convinced he’s actually eight-time child killer B.F. Rotsguild, and his lethal injection scheduled for the morning, Beauregard’s only hope are three unruly orderlies who, to his horror, aren’t white!* *Currently unavailable on video

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National Lampoon’s Why Won’t You Date Meeeeeeee?! (1983) Ronald Grinsley’s met the girl of his dreams. She’s got everything: breasts. Can Ronald win Carrie’s heart before the night of the big dance at Chad Mickmore’s party on the last day of school before college? If he does, it’ll take the combined efforts of his wits, his Uncle Frank’s necking technique, and a genie named Kwaysar to make it happen!

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Embarrassingly Pale Ale Hopsweat The Morning After Pils Guinness Extra Thick Sierra Nevada Extreme Drought Bell’s Overbearing Beer Snob Hose Water Stout Bud Light Lyme Disease Oktoberfest Pregame Sour Cream Beer Dandruffy Shandy Samuel Adams Ballsweat Lager Heat Stroke S’mores IPA Cleaning Out Your Gym Lager Flat Warm Shandy Sweaty Oatmeal Stout Hot as Hell Heineken Swamp Ass Ale Plantation Sunset

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