James O’Keefe Tried to Trick Us Into Publishing a Story About Roy Moore Dating Heffalumps and Woozles Because He’s an Idiot
Dec01

James O’Keefe Tried to Trick Us Into Publishing a Story About Roy Moore Dating Heffalumps and Woozles Because He’s an Idiot

WASHINGTON – Recently, Robot Butt was approached by an individual claiming that Republican Senate hopeful Roy Moore dated Heffalumps and Woozles while he was a district attorney in Alabama in the 1970’s. Robot Butt determined these allegations were false because, come on, and when we confronted the source we learned it was a sting operation put together by Project Veritas ringleader James O’Keefe, who is really bad at...

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7 Times Washington Nationals Mascot Screech Got Caught Gawking At a Big Ol’ Pair of Titties
Apr14

7 Times Washington Nationals Mascot Screech Got Caught Gawking At a Big Ol’ Pair of Titties

“Humina humina humina humina.”   “Let’s go Nats! Let’s go Nats! Let’s go Na-holy shit.”   “It’s like they’re looking directly into my soul.”   “I would throw it all away – my wife, kids, job, house – for five minutes alone with those honkers.”   “Well those are just too big.”   “You see Robert,...

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30 Things Steve Bannon Looks Like
Feb07

30 Things Steve Bannon Looks Like

White House chief strategist, actual President of the United States, and white supremacist Steve Bannon looks like: Bill Belichick if he let himself go Your high school janitor who got arrested one day A guy the mob would call “Jimmy Sleazebag” Rex Ryan with acne scars The actor playing Jabba the Hutt in a local community theater production of Star Wars Every Alabama sheriff from 1933 to 1987 A pile of cat puke that you...

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5 Reasons Why You Just HAVE to Watch the Golden Globes
Jan08

5 Reasons Why You Just HAVE to Watch the Golden Globes

The Golden Globes are on tonight, and you’ve just gotta tune in! Here are five reasons why: 1) It’s pretty simple, really. If you don’t watch every second of this self-indulgent Hollywood circle jerk, you’re going to die. That’s not just us being hyperbolic. It’s actually going to happen. Don’t ask how we know this, but we do. We’ve never steered you in the wrong direction before, so why...

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10 Fun Facts You NEVER Knew About ‘Home Improvement’
Dec08

10 Fun Facts You NEVER Knew About ‘Home Improvement’

When you talk about the great sitcoms of the ’90s, you can’t forget Home Improvement. The family comedy was a highly rated staple for years, thanks to Tim Allen’s relatable gruff character and the hijinks that ensued with his family. And for a show that lasted eight seasons, you can bet there is a ton of trivia about its production. And even if you’re a die-hard fan, there is still a TON of trivia you never...

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