Hi, I’m a Magical Snowman Who Just Came to Life and Is Asking You About Your Relationship Status
Dec15

Hi, I’m a Magical Snowman Who Just Came to Life and Is Asking You About Your Relationship Status

Hey there. I appear to be a talking snowman, and I just wanted to thank you for putting this magical top hat on my head and bringing me to life. Very nice of you. Now that I’m here, I’d like to get down to business and immediately start asking you whether or not you’re married. Seems like a totally not insane thing to do. So, are you married? Are you? Okay, maybe it is a little strange that I’m asking you this. After all,...

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Honey, I’m Sorry I Didn’t Call Before My Arm Was Replaced With a Laser-Guided Proton Ray
Oct16

Honey, I’m Sorry I Didn’t Call Before My Arm Was Replaced With a Laser-Guided Proton Ray

I’m sorry, honey. I screwed up. I should have told you I would be home late. I should have told you I was going drinking with the guys. Most of all, I should have told you I was having my arm replaced with a laser-guided proton ray. That’s on me. Please know that when the night started it wasn’t my intention to have my arm replaced with a laser-guided proton ray. I was just supposed to get a quick beer with Tom and Mitch...

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