Author: Marla Depew

Marla Depew is a Chicago-based writer and comedian who has performed at venues and festivals throughout the country including Zanies, Laugh Factory, The Second City, The Lincoln Lodge, Paper Machete, Tao Comedy Studio, Broadway Comedy Club, The PIT Loft, Chicago Women’s Funny Festival, and Chicago Sketch Comedy Festival. She writes feminist fan fiction about 'The Bachelor' franchise on the blog Will You Accept This Prose and joined Twitter to tweet about the franchise's ridiculous - and ridiculously entertaining - shows.

Dearest, I am writing to you in hopes this will reach you in time for the beloved holiday whose name we can no longer let slip from our lips. It is, in fact, why I am fighting in this war, fighting on the side of all that is merry and bright. It is so dark here. They’ve destroyed all of the tinsel and “holiday” tree lights in a massive bonfire on the top of the nearest mountain with Black Friday coupons as the flames’ fuel. The only lights I can come by are matches from a matchbox bearing the words…

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Hello, Americans! I’m Raúl Labrador, Idaho Republican congressman, member of the House Freedom Caucus, and 2018 gubernatorial candidate. It’s easy to get overwhelmed these days with news headlines, particularly deeply stressful ones about the precarious state of healthcare in our great nation. With so much attention being given to John McCain’s vote on repealing Obamacare after being diagnosed with brain cancer and receiving excellent treatment covered by insurance, I didn’t want anyone to forget what I said at a town hall in May: “Nobody dies because they don’t have access to health care.” I know many of you had never…

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