Author: Jake Grifter

It’s that time of year again, Grifter fanatics. We’re officially just a few days away from everyone’s favorite, anxiety-riddled holiday: Valentine’s Day! Last year, the Grift was a little too busy grinding it out to give you girls and boys any tips on how to have an ecstasy-filled lovefest. And this year, I’ve already seen plenty of articles talking about the best places to go, what to eat, etc. It is all very mundane. I’ve decided that to make sure you can’t-get-enoughs don’t mess up the one day where it is most probably in the bag, I’ll tell you a…

The Grift-O-Maniacs (what I’m now calling my fan club) love asking Jake the questions they wouldn’t dare utter in public. I get so much mail from the base that I’m not sure I’ll ever have time to come up with some original content. Oh well. I got a question from a Maniac recently that was too good not to answer. I was asked, “Jake, in the future, what will sex be like?” Well, dear Maniac, the answer may be even better than you can imagine. I know this because when I reach a certain level of orgasm (level 6 of…

Summer always goes by way too fast. Before you know it, you’ve only participated in three to four beach orgies and the days are getting shorter. Soon enough, skin won’t be in, and there will be at least one extra layer to peel off of your partner. Don’t worry, though, because ol’ Grifter here has a sex tip for every remaining day of summer! Try these sex acts out, and remember: hydration is key. 8/21: Humans with penises: Put your donger in a garbage disposal but don’t turn it on. Feel the fear course through you. Better than sex? You…

A question I’m asked often by my beloved(s) is, “Jake, what do I do if my significant other and I are getting a little bored of each other in the bedroom?” The first time I heard this question, I must admit, I was thrown for quite the loop. The Griftmeister keeps his partners happy and taken care of, so the idea of boring your fellow traveler, or travelers, while you make your way to the dreamland known as Pleasuretown is a new one. But then I stewed on the question for a bit. Rolled it around on the back of my tongue…

I get a lot of mail. Besides the marriage proposals and demands for what amounts to a bone sesh with yours truly, there is one type of letter I receive all the time. Over and over, I’m asked the same question: “What do I do if I think my significant other is cheating on me?” Well, I’ll give you the good news. You aren’t paranoid. If you’re to the point of thinking that your SO is cheating on you, they probably are. No need to go through their cell phone, Facebook or other personal belongings because all it will do is affirm…

Ah, spring. The season of love. The birds and bees are at it again, and judging by my mailbox, you readers are too! Unfortunately, I just don’t have time to answer every question from all of you anxious lovers out there. If I tried to answer all of the heated, passionate questions my readers send to me each week, I wouldn’t have time to practice any of my moves! I love getting fan mail, but I’m pretty sure Mrs. Grifter loves her Mr. Grifter time a little more. But every now and then so many of you have the same…

If the Backstreet Boys had their way, no games would be played with regards to love or relationships. If you’re like me, though, you know that is absolute trash. Games can be the sexiest and spiciest part of any tango, so here are my top five all-time sexiest games to play with your partner: Role play as your favorite character! I like to dress up as Link and go adventuring for hours and hours until I’m too tired to please my Zelda. A good game of cricket can be extremely sensual. If you’ve got a wild group together, strip Settlers…

I’m used to answering questions from my fans. I welcome it. Nothing brings me more pleasure than teaching someone how to truly pleasure their favorite, or only, lover. It is my life’s mission to ensure that as many people in the world feel taken care of as is humanly possible by one man, and with the Internet, that’s a whole lot of people. But one question I couldn’t answer quickly and easily with a patented Grifter such as, “That’s easy, cup the balls!” or “Not a problem, just use your tongue AND your fingers!” was a question that came in…

It’s that time of the year again. Leaves are falling, hot chocolate is brewing and families are getting together for the holidays. Which means it’s time for your family’s yearly trip to the great outdoors, right as fall is about to envelope the countryside like a big warm hug from Gammy Gim-Gim. Like so many around the country, you’re no doubt looking forward to long walks in the color-splashed autumn woods, a steaming mug of your favorite hot drink, and seeing your cousin Jill again for the first time since the big family reunion last summer. If you’re like many…

Let’s say you and your mate find yourself in a much-dreaded post-apocalyptic situation, zombies are everywhere, and each day is another fight for survival. At some point simply surviving is going to get boring. You’re going to need to find something to, well let’s say, “stimulate” yourself with. Lucky for you, your world is absolutely crawling with some of the wildest, kinkiest toys you will ever find use for. Safety First: Knock Their Teeth Out Zombies are always hungry, especially for brains. But that doesn’t mean you can’t repurpose that insatiable hunger into something that might make your lady blush.…