Hello, and welcome back to school! Please make sure your child comes prepared to my class with the following supplies on their first day 🙂 One (1) Box of #2 Pencils We use pencils in my class, which will help us as we learn to write in cursive this year! Pencils are also a great way to teach students the value of learning from past mistakes and the importance of correcting them. One (1) Pencil Pouch/Box Can’t have pencils without a pencil pouch! Three (3) Wide-Ruled Notebooks These will be handy for students looking to keep track of who is…
Author: Clay Beyersdorfer
Clay Beyersdorfer
Clay Beyersdorfer is a writer specializing in humor and copywriting living in Chicago, Illinois. He can be seen attempting to achieve stardom at any open mic he can find in the Windy City, where he tackles issues like the overprivileged white male, sports ball, and life as a person who willingly and openly chose to working in advertising. Clay has studied stand-up and writing at The Second City in Chicago. Because he is a former Army sergeant, you can usually find Clay screaming himself hoarse while waiting in line at your local VA Hospital, or playing with his bulldog, Blue.
Congratulations on joining [INSERT FORTUNE 500 COMPANY NAME HERE]! During your first week here, it is expected that you are going to have a lot of questions. As your HR team, we want you to know it is important to not only know your office, but what the climate of an average professional working environment is like in 2018. Take advantage of your new opportunity by reviewing the below information prior to starting at [INSERT FORTUNE 500 COMPANY NAME HERE], and you’ll set yourself up for early success. 1. What time do I need to come to work everyday? We…
1. Standing in line Yes, you’re pretending to get coffee, but in reality, you are just standing there like a complete noob, Moleskin notebook in hand, waiting to see if any tables open up. You’re probably keeping it positive thinking to yourself, “Everybody has to start somewhere!” Better find a seat fast, nerd. 2. The barstools near the front window You’re green as hell, but probably not as new to “the biz.” Although you are one of the fresher inhabitants to the local coffee club, you’ve managed to dance a little with the devil, submitting some pieces that you thought were…
1. Your Dad’s Overstretched College Sweater Search the bottom of that box in the garage for your father’s old college sweater. Once you get past the “is that ketchup or a blood stain?” moment, that knit piece of memorabilia will cover up any shame you felt trying to fit into those cheek-less blue bottoms at the lake on Memorial Day. 2. A Leaf Pile Forget the fact you just spent three months basking in the sun and lather yourself in Mother Nature’s greatest treasures, which are aplenty this time of year. The ants that will cover your body searching for…
Them Fear is now a family, as Pennywise has returned from the grave and brought his blood-sucking, newly formed family (including his daughter Penelope, and son, Penny Jr.) to wreak havoc on the town of Derry, Maine. She Pennywise comes back to Derry to apologize to the children, and to reveal that the reason for his evil is the fact everyone just automatically assumed his gender, and that clown women are just as capable of demonic destruction and terror. Who Following the Dancing Clown’s return, the Derry kids are faced with trying to get everyone in town to remember the…