(Eddie Brock shakes violently as Venom takes over his body) VENOM: EDDIEEE… EDDIE: What do you want!? VENOM: You’ll find out soon enough. EDDIE: Listen to me! We cannot just hurt people! VENOM: Look into my eyes, Eddie! (VENOM’S head pops out of EDDIE’S shoulder and turns to face him) VENOM: The way I see it, WE can do whatever WE want. EDDIE: W-w-what… are you going to do to me? VENOM: It’s not what I’m going to do to YOU, Eddie. It’s what WE are going to do to WE. EDDIE: D’you mean us? (Venom looks up, thinking, then blushes) VENOM: YES, US, WHATEVER. EDDIE: Well, what do you…
Author: Ben Hargrave
Ben Hargrave
Ben Hargrave is a comedian, writer, and actor in New York whose writing has appeared on McSweeney’s, Splitsider, The Hard Times, Defenestration, The Tusk, Janice, The Higgs Weldon, Points In Case, Funny or Die, and Above Average. He also makes his own peanut butter and excels at farting around.
Well, I’ve done it, folks. I now possess 10,000 hours of task repetition. It’s a plateau that, when reached, bestows upon the achiever the privilege of self-identifying as a master in their field and legally everyone has to agree with you. Since my accomplishment, it’s now blatantly obvious to anyone with eyes and ears that I am an actual walking god of a realm in which I am the only inhabitant. While sacrificing nothing, I’ve finally reached 10,000 hours of not shutting the fuck up about Malcolm Gladwell. See, the thing about Malcolm Gladwell is that the guy is so…