Hot Deal! Williams Sonoma Announces Each Crock-Pot on Sale Has a Mother’s Soul Trapped in It and She’s Late for a PTA Meeting

Crock Pot

We’re in the midst of some hot outlet sales, which means many stores have cheap kitchen appliances available. It looks like one store has outdone all the rest this year: Williams Sonoma has announced that each of their Crock-Pots on sale has the soul of a mother trapped inside and she’s super late for a PTA meeting.

Awesome! Who doesn’t love a two-for-one deal?

“Mothers know just what you need when you’re having a rough day,” said Karl Antonoff, sales executive of Williams Sonoma. “That’s why we trapped a soul of a mother in each of our crockpots in the discount section. You won’t need a Crock-Pot cookbook when you have a mom’s soul to give you all her famous recipes.”

Williams Sonoma hasn’t released information on whether the mother’s soul is good or evil, but they do know she is extremely late for a PTA meeting and pissed off about it. Buying one of these Crock-Pots won’t be any risk to your health as the mother will always make sure you get washed up and that there’s something hot available before reminding you she needs to get going or the PTA will put her in charge of event clean-ups from now on. And we all know that sucks!

This would truly make the perfect present for any college student needing a quick meal fix and life advice from the beyond. However, she will begin to get attached and overly protective of the Crock-Pot beholder. As the appliance warning states, “never submerge in water and be careful because you might wake up in the middle of the night to the Crock-Pot watching you from the doorway.” It may seem creepy, but she’s just watching over her little angel.

Understandable – you’re her baby now!

Smart thinking on behalf of Williams Sonoma’s promotional team for giving the people what they need physically and emotionally! So treat yourself to a nice new Crock-Pot and a brand-new mother. Just make sure you get her to that PTA meeting at some point.



Arianna Durnell

Author: Arianna Durnell

Arianna is a New York-based comedian who contributes to the satirical sites Reductress and The Higgs Weldon. She is currently performing and writing sketch comedy in the duo Bag Of Rocks and was named one of Mogul’s comedians to look out for in 2018.

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