We’re Making a Woody Allen Movie for Charity So It’s Okay

Woody Allen

At Amazon Studios, we believe in telling bold, new, original stories. That is precisely why we are teaming up with Woody Allen to make his latest film, Love And Let Die.

Love And Let Die stars Alec Baldwin as Frank Borowitz, an anxious, lovesick private eye hired by Aaron Neider (Justin Timberlake) to uncover his wife’s affair. But when Frank meets Mrs. Neider (Peyton List of Disney Channel’s Jessie and Bunk’d) he can’t help but become enamored with her. Before long the two begin shtupping, and Frank realizes that he can’t wrap up his investigation without exposing his own affair with the 19-year-old woman of his dreams.

Like so many celebrities, Woody Allen is no stranger to controversy. With the cast and crew in agreement, we are excited to announce that Love And Let Die will be the first Woody Allen movie made entirely for charity! Now audiences and artists alike may enjoy the work of Woody Allen while knowing all the proceeds will go towards helping those in need. 

Prior to this announcement, many have wondered why Amazon Prime would want to make a Woody Allen movie at all. Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos offered up the following response: “When Woody asks if you want to make a movie, you can’t say no. That’s rule number one of dominating the streaming game. Either way, it’s all for charity. It’s not like we’re profiting off an accused child molester, so why are you complaining?”

“I, for one, am thrilled to be working with my pal Woody again,” remarked Baldwin at a press junket in New York City. “He’s been treated very unfairly. Thankfully, we have a free pass to work together, provided I give my money to someplace else, like the Alec Baldwin Foundation.”

Even Woody Allen himself has stated that he won’t be accepting a paycheck for the film. “What would I do with it? I live in a rent-controlled New York apartment, I make a movie every year, and I’ve barely scratched the surface of my income from Hannah And Her Sisters,” he said. “I just hope that by making my own movie for charity, people will begin to see me as a normal person again and I can go back to playing my clarinet at the Carlyle without anyone calling me a pervert.”

Allen went on to say that at his age he would much rather stay out of the limelight and stay in to watch the Knicks. “The problem is these stories about neurotic men and beautiful young women just keep coming to me and if I don’t write them, no one will. It’s a real burden on a man my age. But, again, it’s for charity,” he explained.

Sign up today and get a free month of Amazon Prime, with exclusive access to original content like Louis C.K.’s Forgiven: A Stand-up Special for the ASPCA and the unreleased Kevin Spacey cut of All The Money in the World. With Amazon Prime you no longer have to worry about separating the art from the artist, because we’ve given all their money to charity so you can binge-watch with a clean conscience.

 

 




Kevin Cole

Author: Kevin Cole

Kevin Cole is a comedy writer and satirist working out of Frederick, MD. He runs The Annual Podcast Network and is a contributing writer for The Weekly Humorist. In 2016 he collaborated with a dark orb to write a play called Great Again, condemning all of mankind to be trapped in a world where Donald Trump is the president. You can find his tweets at @Kevindotcole.

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