Never Look Up From Your Phone Again With These Life-Changing Apps!

Woman Staring at Phone

SoundLoud

Locates the noisiest nearby eateries. Escorting Grandma on her biannual day out from the nursing home? With SoundLoud, no longer can lame wartime stories interrupt you scrolling through your Facebook newsfeed!

SocialMe

Simultaneously refreshes your emails, Facebook, Instagram and Twitter. First date with the handsome doctor you met after you spilled boiling coffee on Grandma? With SocialMe, you can live-tweet the entire date while uncovering that he used to be fat.

HowDareYou

Finds which snake has just unfollowed you on Twitter. In the Michelin-starred restaurant in the Eiffel Tower? Don’t waste time on views you can get anywhere with Google Maps; use it wisely, deciding how to exact revenge on this Benedict Arnold.

iWaiter

Apple’s magnum opus retrieves your server’s digits, so you can iMessage your order. Never again let your boyfriend proposing distract you from re-watching your hilarious Snapchat story.

SeeFood

This Mother Teresa of apps uses the camera view as a background on Facebook, enabling you to see when your food has arrived. Husband telling you he wants a divorce? Now you can change your relationship status before he does.

#LunchDate

Automatically takes filtered pictures of your food and company, showing the world that your life is SO FUN. Snap your kid terrorizing the whole restaurant while you laugh!

YeahNoTotally

This LIFESAVER lets you record stock responses, and plays them at regular intervals. Boss firing you? Don’t waste your breath engaging him; save it for your Snapchat story. Pro tip: Snapchat stories are a GREAT way to announce what’s happening in your life, like getting fired, Grandma dying of loneliness, and your ex and his bimbo wife gaining full custody of your kid just because ONE TIME you were tweeting and didn’t see him walk into traffic. ONE. TIME.

BuzzFeed

What better time than lunch to find out what kind of garlic bread you are? (I’m cheesy, HAHAHA!)

 

 




Marsha Allan-Burns

Author: Marsha Allan-Burns

Marsha Allan-Burns is a humour writer from Hampshire, UK. She has studied satire, sketch, and improv with the Second City. When she's not doing that, she is attempting to complete her degree in experimental psychology at the University of Oxford. Follow her on Instagram or Twitter if you're looking for absolutely nothing of interest.

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