Discarded Objects Inside the White House That Also Passed a Mental Fitness Evaluation

White House

  • A discarded, white dress shirt
  • A 2004-era silk bow tie, formerly of Tucker Carlson
  • The VHS cassette, but not the cardboard box, of Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me
  • Empty bottles of Sauvignon blanc
  • Last week’s pre-algebra homework
  • Draft No. 3 of Women Who Work
  • The butts of three hoagies
  • Omarosa’s bridal shower menu
  • Compost residue from from Michelle Obama’s vegetable garden
  • Michelle Bachmann’s 2003 Christmas card
  • Sarah Huckabee Sanders’ personal supply of canned pie filling
  • Place settings from Tricia Nixon’s wedding reception
  • An exceptionally dense pile of gum wrappers
  • Staples’ Easy Button, unboxed
  • Grace Coolidge’s National Institute of Social Science gold medal
  • The cremated remains of American democracy
  • One desiccated jelly bean

 

 




Katherine M. Hill

Author: Katherine M. Hill

Katherine is a Brooklyn-based writer and editor. She used to write about pop-punk, but now she just yells at the TV. You can find her on Twitter at @KatherineInBK.

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