The Fake News Mainstream Media wants you to believe that our fearless leader is losing his mental stability. We the American people must stand up to the spreading of this fake news just as we have stood for our tremendous National Anthem. I, for one, will fight against any and all bullying that I see these Demon-crats commit against our Commander-in-Chief. I can not, and will not, tolerate any more Fake News. Listen up libs, Donald J. Trump has more mental stability in his pinky toe than any of you have in your entire bodies, and what a terrific toe it is!
Now, the lying media has been spreading misinformation about Donald Trump from the first day he announced his candidacy. They’ve screamed Russian collusion (hoax) and howled mental stability (pfft, yeah right) just like they did with former President Ronald Reagan. Mr. Reagan didn’t collude with Russia and neither did Mr. Trump. I mean, they called him “The Great Communicator,” not “The Great Colluder.” Plus, we all know that Ol’ Ronnie was more mentally fit than the four heads of Mount Rushmore combined. Not to mention those cute little piggies he had sticking out from his feet.
I have supported Donald J. Trump from day one. I always knew he would defeat Crooked Hillary and her crooked toes. Liberals always cry “Bernie! Oh, Bernie would have won! Bernie!” Wrong. Fake News. I’m sure Mr. Sanders is just as mentally fit as Donald Trump, but I can’t even imagine his fossil-like feet filling the President’s wonderful shoes.
The libs’ most recent ploy of claiming Trump is mentally unstable will never succeed. Would someone who is mentally unfit work endlessly to undo all of Obama’s horrible policies? Would someone who is mentally unstable have graduated from the Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania with the class of 1968? Would someone who is not mentally fit have a smooth dorsal surface and perfectly pedicured toenails? Would someone who is not mentally fit respond “No thanks, I already have one” to my application to be his personal foot masseuse? I don’t think so!
Even if Donald Trump was mentally unstable, which he is not – so much for the tolerant left, am I right? I thought they were all for destigmatizing mental illnesses, and surely the best way to accomplish that would be to have a friggin’ PRESIDENT with a mental illness to represent the cause. It couldn’t hurt to have one with some classy and cankle-free hind feet either.
But enough about those precious soles he hides under his $500 loafers. I’m here to talk about the precious sole he has hiding under his manly mane. It is a fact that the president has a larger brain than any Neanderthal in recorded history. We know this because Neanderthals did not exist, God put Adam and Eve on this earth, not Adoonga and Evoonga. We also know that Donald Trump has the third-largest brain of any homo sapien in recorded history, right behind Abraham Lincoln (who was a Republican!!!) and Roger Ailes (may he rest in peace). The President ain’t no homo neither, unless it’s for a rough-handed fan slipping his socks off after a long day of hard work and giving his dogs an erotic petting.
And another thing you sicko libs need to get through your thick skulls: our Large-Brained Leader isn’t just mentally fit, he is also extremely physically fit. The Fake News media enjoys making fun of the president’s past ailments, often bringing up the draft deferment he received from having bone spurs. But we all know the only reason he had bone spurs was because he was an avid player of football, tennis, and squash! I mean, he probably has athlete’s foot too from being such a sports star. And I wouldn’t even care if he did! I would happily volunteer to rub cream on my president’s feet! Heck, if he needed it I would lick those suckers clean.
What I mean is, it is the duty of all Americans to kiss our leader’s feet. It’s the least we could do, considering all he does for us. His huge and very mentally stable brain makes him a genius and an American hero. I would be honored if I had the opportunity to suckle his sweet toes and caress his silky heels. Maybe some of his excess mental stability would be transferred into me!