Wait for the One (Who Sends You Flirty Late-Night Texts and Then Tells You ‘You’re Not Thinking Clearly’ When You Ask If There’s Something More Between the Two of You!)

Woman Texting Late at Night

Ladies! Don’t settle. Wait for the one! More specifically, the one who sends you flirty late-night texts and then tells you that “you’re not thinking clearly” when you ask if there’s something more between the two of you! Yay!

I’m talking to the single ladies in their late 20’s and early 30’s. And before you think I’m getting preachy, let me just say that I used to be one of you, so I understand how much it sucks, and I also know what’s best for you. Haha! It’s okay for me to judge your life like that because I said “haha!” right after. Anyways, right now it’s any one of the twelve months of the year, which means it’s wedding/engagement season. Your social media newsfeeds are flooded with reminders of how lonely you are, but don’t worry. I have very important, and very specific, advice for you.

The one who sends you flirty late-night texts and then tells you that “you’re not thinking clearly” when you ask if there’s something more between the two of you is a good guy. He’s way better than a fuckboi. What’s the difference, you ask? You are a stupid woman! LOL! It’s okay because I said “LOL!” The one who sends you flirty late-night texts and then tells you that “you’re not thinking clearly” when you ask if there’s something more between the two of you isn’t a fuckboi because he doesn’t fuck you! He keeps it in his pants, and because of that and only that, he is a good guy who deserves all your emotional labor, including the extra labor required after he implies that you’re crazy! LOL! But seriously!

The one who sends you flirty late-night texts and then tells you that “you’re not thinking clearly” when you ask if there’s something more between the two of you is clearly a man who speaks his mind. Is what’s on his mind manipulative and misleading because he purposely confuses you? Yes! Can we get anything better these days? No! Hehehe! But seriously!

The one who sends you flirty late-night texts and then tells you that “you’re not thinking clearly” when you ask if there’s something more between the two of you will not break your heart. He will never break your heart! That’s because he’ll never get close enough! Instead, he will re-affirm any self-esteem issues that you have, which will keep you committed to him. Commitment is important even when it hurts! LOL! But seriously!

Anyways, what was I talking about? Oh, yeah. Now’s the time where I bring my own personal experience into it. I waited for the one who sent me flirty late-night texts and then told me that I “wasn’t thinking clearly” when I asked if there was something more between the two of us. Now we are in a one-sided relationship in which he gets a lot and I get some late-night texts and I am very sad! Wait, I meant happy! Pretend I didn’t say sad. I would delete it but a tiny voice inside my subconscious is telling me not to! What? Help! Just kidding. Don’t help! I am here helping you! Please help me. Why do I keep saying that? HAHA! LOL! SERIOUSLY! A lot of men are very terrible! What? No they’re not! Yes they are! LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 




Molly Kiernan

Author: Molly Kiernan

Molly is a Brooklyn-based writer, performer, producer and director who loves most flavors of ice cream. She currently writes and performs at the Magnet Theater, and writes for online publications such as The Higgs Weldon, HelloGiggles and Robot Butt. By day, Molly works in television production on shows such as Broad City, Difficult People and Odd Mom Out. Check her out at www.mollybkiernan.com.

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