Signs Your Kids Are Too Old to Believe in Santa

Santa Claus Cookies

1. Refuse to stop giggling anytime someone mentions Santa coming down a chimney.

2. Offered to give the mall Santa a lap dance.

3. Instead of leaving milk and cookies they want to leave Santa a vape pen and a Four Loko.

4. Mrs. Claus now equals MILF.

5. Told a young cousin that the roadkill they just passed was Rudolph.

6. Asked whether Santa’s Naughty List is backed up on on tape or hard drive.

7. They’ve tried to snort colored sugar.

8. Demanded Santa follow back on IG.

9. Claims they saw Mommy kissing Santa’s candy cane and now want therapy for Christmas.

10. Believe the song “White Christmas” is racist.



Chaco Daniel

Author: Chaco Daniel

Chaco Daniel is a San Francisco-based writer and his first name is usually a great conversation starter. Follow him on Twitter @chacod.

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