WASHINGTON – With Halloween drawing near, people across the country are preparing to celebrate. That includes the White House, where President Donald Trump has decided to forgo handing out candy in lieu of providing trick-or-treaters with electoral maps of his 2016 victory over Hillary Clinton.
“Halloween is a very special time of year, very special,” Trump said. “And I want to make sure these children get something just as special. So I will be handing out copies of the 2016 electoral map, which if you remember, I won, by the biggest margin of any election. So I think the kids will really, really enjoy that.”
While candy is traditionally handed out to the children visiting the White House trick-or-treating festivities, this move further cements Trump’s reputation for unconventional politics. “President Trump came to Washington to shake things up,” press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders explained during a press conference. “Handing out candy is just another beltway tradition that is out of step with real everyday Americans.”
Critics see this as another example of Trump seeking to praise himself and focusing on his campaign at the expense of actual governance. “The president cannot keep living in the past,” Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer explained. “He is going to have to offer the American people something tangible if he wants to be a president for all.”
“Also I was really hoping for some Butterfingers,” he added.
Trump, in typical fashion, doubled down on his decision on Twitter by reiterating he would be handing out the maps for trick-or-treaters, but in all caps.