Trump Assures Fallen Soldier’s Widow Country Will Be Saying ‘Merry Christmas’ Again

Trump on Phone

WASHINGTON – President Donald Trump made another phone call to a fallen soldier’s widow this weekend, comforting her by guaranteeing that the country will finally start saying “Merry Christmas” once again this holiday season.

“I got these big beautiful crowds at my rallies,” the president explained to the grieving woman on the other end of the line. “And I told them, ‘We’ll be saying it again, I can promise you that.’ And here we are. Anyway, I know that’s a very nice thing I did that you’d appreciate.”

The soldier, Lt. Mark Andrews, was killed late last week in a firefight in Syria, which Trump said “was a country with no real great spots for hotel properties,” before telling Mrs. Andrews that her husband “surely knew that while performing his duty.”

According to reports, Trump ended the three-minute phone call by asking Mrs. Andrews how many copies of his victorious electoral college map she’d like mailed to her.



Robot Butt News Corp.

Author: Robot Butt News Corp.

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