WASHINGTON – Tom Price, Secretary of the U.S. Health and Human Services Department, resigned today, claiming that he wished to take some time off and spend more money with his family. Secretary Price stated that he came to the realization that resigning from his position was far easier than paying back all of the taxpayer money he had used to fund expensive vacations for his family.
“With all of the money we have saved, I think we can afford a few more lavish trips,” Price said from the deck of a yacht in the national harbor. “I told everyone I wouldn’t use chartered flights anymore, but they didn’t count on this baby.”
Price went on to explain that once he was in international waters he could do whatever he wanted.