With All of the News About Healthcare, Don’t Forget About Me, the Guy Who Said No One Ever Dies From Lack of Healthcare!
Jul31

With All of the News About Healthcare, Don’t Forget About Me, the Guy Who Said No One Ever Dies From Lack of Healthcare!

Hello, Americans! I’m Raúl Labrador, Idaho Republican congressman, member of the House Freedom Caucus, and 2018 gubernatorial candidate. It’s easy to get overwhelmed these days with news headlines, particularly deeply stressful ones about the precarious state of healthcare in our great nation. With so much attention being given to John McCain’s vote on repealing Obamacare after being diagnosed with brain cancer and receiving excellent...

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10 Ways You Know You’re in the Audience of the Farewell Tour of ‘Mamma Mia!’
Jul29

10 Ways You Know You’re in the Audience of the Farewell Tour of ‘Mamma Mia!’

1. The average age of the 1,300 audience members is 57. The average color is white. You sit among 1,300 middle-aged white women who are excited to return to the youth of the music of ABBA in staged dramatic form. 2. You see a few haggard men accompanying said women, but they would have preferred to stay at the Holiday Inn Courtyard bar or The Cheesecake Factory drinking $3 happy hour Long Island Iced Tea specials and dropping coconut...

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Chris Christie Stole a Beach, So I Stole an Entire Grocery Aisle of Tampons
Jul28

Chris Christie Stole a Beach, So I Stole an Entire Grocery Aisle of Tampons

New Jersey governor Chris Christie’s blatant abuse of power may have ruined my holiday weekend, but I refused to let his actions ruin my holiday spirit. Sometimes the best revenge is beating the villain at his own game. With every Christie sitting-on-the-beach meme grew my need to avenge this nautical nightmare. That’s why I stole every tampon from the shelves of my local Stop & Shop, because that’ll show him. The sweet high of...

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Nice Nolan Ya, Episode 8: ‘The Dark Knight Rises’
Jul27

Nice Nolan Ya, Episode 8: ‘The Dark Knight Rises’

Is Christopher Nolan’s Batman series politically reactionary or not? In this examination of yet another Michael Caine film, The Dark Knight Rises, Ali, Megan, Alex and Gautham discuss the most overtly political Batman movie Nolan created. Spoilers: The French Revolution is solved when Batman punches it in the face.     More jokes, at no extra...

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Statements From Sean Spicer’s First Weekend as My Personal Press Secretary
Jul26

Statements From Sean Spicer’s First Weekend as My Personal Press Secretary

I didn’t plan on hiring a personal press secretary, but when opportunity knocks, you take it. Opportunity knocked into me particularly hard on Friday, when Sean Spicer hit me in a Dunkin’ Donuts parking lot. He volunteered to serve as my personal press secretary for a while if I promised to keep the collision quiet. After all, he’s in between jobs, and apparently, it’s pretty expensive to insure a motorized...

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