HOUSTON – Vice President Mike Pence visited NASA’s Johnson Space Center Wednesday morning to greet the newest class of astronauts and esteemed scientists and to propose a preliminary study to find Earth’s distance from heaven.
“Would I be able to see it through your telescopes?” Pence, wide-eyed with enthusiasm and hope, asked the Space Center scientists. The group of researchers exchanged glances and, not wanting to crush the vice president’s hopes, gave a series of non-committal answers about how vast the universe was, but that maybe one day humans would be able to find it.
Pence was then given a tour of the facility, where he had numerous questions for the researchers guiding him. “I’ve heard something about motherships, what are those all about?” he inquired. “Do you have one of those here I could climb around in?”
Pence then turned the conversation to sending a shuttle to Heaven to set up a U.S. embassy. “It would be very helpful to ask Jesus directly just how mad gay marriage is making him.”
Asking if the researchers could give just a ballpark estimate of the distance a shuttle would need to travel, the NASA representatives remained quiet until one suggested it was probably about the same distance away as Mars, and with just a little more funding they could probably reach it.