In the Family/Trump Org. region of the Most Soulless Person to Associate With Donald Trump tournament, it’s hard to see it going anywhere else but a matchup between Trump’s children. There are so many of them, and each one is unsettling in a unique, horrifying way. But don’t count out Trump’s team of lawyers, lackeys and confidants!
Update: Second Round Results
To be honest, I thought Melania Trump would go further in this region, and it would appear her decision to avoid President Trump as much as possible (despite costing taxpayers millions of dollars in the process) has really hurt her in the tournament. So what we have shaping up is a showdown between Trump’s children and Roy Cohn, Trump’s longtime adviser, who you can posthumously thank for the current state of our republic.
First Round Results
A fairly by-the-book first round for this region, though the Trump Organization’s chief legal officer Jason Greenblatt, who is currently working to destroy U.S.-Israel relations, notched a slight upset against ninth-seeded Trump Organization Executive VP Alan Garten.