WASHINGTON – In a stunning twist on an otherwise upbeat story, Mike Pompeo, Director of the Central Intelligence Agency (CIA), revealed today during a press conference that a plant the agency planted overseas was in fact just a plant.
“After taking time to install the plant without anyone noticing, we found out that it had been compromised, and felt that we needed to explain that it was in actuality a plant the whole time,” Pompeo said. “I will say that the current administration seems to be pleased to find out that the plants were plants, and not planted to help the environment.”
Pompeo explained that planting the plant was part of a larger operation taking place across the world, targeting areas that harbor hostilities toward the United States. Since the election, anti-US sentiment has risen globally, and the plants were planted to help shore up feelings about the new government.
“To find out that the plants were plants, it really is disturbing,” said Senator Elizabeth Warren (D-MA). “It looks to be part of a bigger trend. Next we’re going to find out that the bugs the FBI spreads around the country in order to help investigate crimes are actually bugs.”