Pet Cam Owner Feeling More Like God Every Day

Man-God Staring at Computer

PHOENIX – Hoping to take the canine-human relationship to a higher plane of codependence, an area man is employing the power of a brand-new Logitech pet cam to keep watch over his canine friend.

“For I, Wyatt, am a jealous dog lover, and I shall tend to my furbaby as a shepherd would track his sheep with GPS,” said Wyatt Simmons, 43, of Scottsdale, as he sat at work and streamed footage of Thurman, his nine-month-old Bichon Frise, cleaning his genitals.

“Yea, though I see him walk through the kitchen to drink, verily shall his bowl runneth over, for I have installed an automatic water dispenser from Petco to satiate his thirst.”

“And when I gaze upon the heavy eyes of Thurman, and he should seem weary, I say unto you he shall lay down his burdens upon his new orthopedic bed from Drs. Foster & Smith, the one that smelleth richly of cedar, not the older one the cat hath marked three times.”

When asked if he planned to use the pet cam’s two-way audio to speak to Thurman remotely, Mr. Simmons would only say he was working on a set of ten simple commands to help keep the dog in line.

 

 




Robot Butt News Corp.

Author: Robot Butt News Corp.

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