7 Reasons to Be Thankful It’s Not Yet Thanksgiving

Turkey Side Eye

Thanksgiving is a day to celebrate and be thankful for things like food, dessert and, well, more food. But Thanksgiving also reminds us why we should be thankful this holiday only occurs once a year.

Here are seven reasons to be thankful it’s not yet Thanksgiving, and to be thankful that it will be over quickly:

1. No “Wait, You’re Still Single?”

Prepare yourself for the yearly interrogation from your friends and family basking in how peculiar it is that you’re still not in a relationship. We all might be one year older, but the table conversations remain the same. And it revolves around your personal life. “Wait, why aren’t you seeing anyone?” “Because.” “But, why?” “Do I look like Tinder?”

2. No Politics IRL

Every day, you scroll past political posts without batting an eye, but on Thanksgiving, you’ll learn who was posting them. Heads up, it’s your relatives. As you try to enjoy your pie à la mode, ideologies will also be shoved down your throat.

3. No Choking Down Your Aunt’s Chunky Egg & Tuna Salad

There’s a list of food people consume on Thanksgiving, but the experimental casserole dish your relative thinks everyone loves should never be on that list. The taste of the egg-tuna-pickle salad casserole will remain in your brain for life, even though you never actually took a bite. The smell alone brings on nightmares.

4. No Debating Whose Hair Is in the Food

We all know somebody’s plate is going to end up with hair in it. Having to analyze if the hair pulled from the gravy is your grandma’s or her cats is a job not even Inspector Gadget would want.

5. No Wasting a Day Off From Work

Imagine it: Day off from work, binge-watching Netflix, in a Chewbacca onesie, with a large, meat lovers’ pizza in bed. Now wipe that image from your mind. Your Thanksgiving day off will be spent cooking and cleaning. Gross.

6. No Kids’ Table

It doesn’t matter if there aren’t any actual toddlers at the table, being told to go sit at the kids’ table when you’re a college graduate is insulting. Unless there are crayons. Then all is forgiven.

7. No Being Asked What You’re Thankful For

And secretly hiding that you’re thankful Thanksgiving only happens once a year.

 

 




Audra Geary

Author: Audra Geary

Audra is a coffee-addicted comedy writer who lives in between New York and Rhode Island. She has her BA in Film Studies and English and recently earned her TV Writing Certificate through UCLA's Extension Program. You can watch her awkward videos at Youtube.com/c/audkwardg.

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