OSLO – Following yesterday’s report that famed musician Bob Dylan had been awarded the Nobel Prize in Literature, the Swedish institution announced today that Dylan would additionally receive the coveted prize for mumbling.
“For over fifty years, Bob Dylan has demonstrated again and again that he is peerless in numerous fields, with mumbling perhaps being his most significant artistic genre,” said Nobel representative Sara Danius. “From his celebrated lyrics ‘cronhuggle semsons’ in ‘Blowin’ in the Wind’ and ‘wheezle gin blat teeeeeerrybase’ in ‘Desolation Row,’ to his numerous grunts, howls and possible sneezes during live performances, the man has shown himself to be a true artist for the ages.”
Danius additionally cited the incomprehensible “Subterranean Homesick Blues” as playing a part in the decision, as well as the album Time Out of Mind, which despite being recorded with Dylan wearing a WWII-style gasmask for the entirety of the vocals, went on to become one of 1997’s most critically acclaimed works.
“Bob Dylan is without question a poet of the highest order,” Danius said. “I think we can all honestly say that the word, or words, ‘sinrolsteeeetsallllowand’ speak to the very core of the human condition.”
With his most recent recognition, Dylan joins an elite group of mumblers previously honored by Nobel’s Swedish Academy, including Winston Churchill, Eugene O’Neill, Tom Waits and Popeye.
Asked to comment on the award, an emotional Dylan stated, “Holfgrits, man. Holfgrits.”