Inspiring: This Sex Offender Is Making Amends This Halloween By Giving Out Full-Size Candy Bars
Oct31

Inspiring: This Sex Offender Is Making Amends This Halloween By Giving Out Full-Size Candy Bars

PITTSBURGH – Halloween is a time for goblins and ghouls to run amok – but it’s also a time for one local man to find redemption. Registered sex offender Jon Drummond is going the extra mile this Halloween by handing out full-size candy bars to the scores of trick-or-treating children who will be visiting his house, and as far as the 67-year-old’s past heinous abuse of children goes, the community is ready to...

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White House Pardons Leatherface in Annual Halloween Ceremony
Oct31

White House Pardons Leatherface in Annual Halloween Ceremony

WASHINGTON – Continuing the time-honored seasonal tradition, President Obama issued his eighth Halloween pardon today, selecting serial murderer and cannibal Leatherface for the honor. “Halloween is a day where we celebrate the macabre, the vile, the repugnant – and they don’t get more repugnant than this big guy,” Obama said, before adding, “I mean look at this!” pointing to a viscous, black fluid oozing from Leatherface’s...

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Mother Jones Haunted House Just 90 Minutes of Getting Catcalled
Oct28

Mother Jones Haunted House Just 90 Minutes of Getting Catcalled

SAN FRANCISCO – As Halloween draws near, the progressive news outlet Mother Jones has unveiled a haunted house unlike any other. “It’s scary because it’s real,” said Shannon McCarthy, a 32-year-old mother of two. “You walk through this makeshift construction site and these guys just catcall you but you can’t leave. It’s really unsettling.” This continues the long tradition of...

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10 Chicago Cubs Curses You Never Knew Existed
Oct26

10 Chicago Cubs Curses You Never Knew Existed

Sure, you know about the billy goat and Steve Bartman. But the Chicago Cubs haven’t won a World Series in 108 years; you had to know there were a bunch of other curses placed on the team and its fans throughout the years. Oh, you didn’t? Then you better start reading. Here are ten Chicago Cubs curses you didn’t know about: The Curse of Harry Caray Following Harry Caray’s death in 1998, all burgers within...

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A Cleveland-Chicago-Cleveland Transplant’s World Series Thoughts
Oct25

A Cleveland-Chicago-Cleveland Transplant’s World Series Thoughts

As a child in suburban Ohio, I loved baseball. I had two favorite teams for very different reasons. I loved the Cleveland Indians because I had been going to games since I was a toddler (it was easy to go to these games when about 72,000 of the 78,000 seats were empty) and I loved the Chicago Cubs because they were on TV during the daytime over summer and on days I stayed home from school. Many of my baseball-loving friends were the...

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