1) Where the hell is my wallet?
2) It fell between the seat during the movie I think but why isn’t it fucking there now?
3) What did I touch that was so moist below the seat?
4) Where is my fucking wallet?!
5) What is the name of this usher telling me I have to leave the theater?
6) Why won’t he help me find my wallet?
7) What was with that alligator man?
8) Son of a bitch, do I just leave the wallet now?
9) Wait, was my Subway card in it?
10) Was it the Subway card that was one hole punch away from a free sub or the brand-new one I got when I forgot the other one last week?
11) Why didn’t anyone in the movie care that he was like a full-on alligator person?
12) Wait a second – are my keys gone too?
13) How am I going to get home?
14) Do I just start a new life here in this theater?
15) Isn’t it so surreal to know you’ll never see your family again?
16) Oh, duh, how about I call someone to come pick me up?
17) Oh goddammit, where is my phone?!