WASHINGTON – As his Supreme Court nomination continues to be used as a weapon of political warfare, Merrick Garland spent his 101st straight day in a dark, underground Capitol Building waiting room Thursday, the only light emanating from a dusty window far above the U.S Appeals Court judge’s reach.
“I know this is a major decision, so I don’t mind waiting,” Garland said, his now-gaunt frame barely holding itself up. “I occupy a lot of my time humming my favorite tunes and counting the fingernail scratches all over the walls.”
President Barack Obama nominated Garland in March, and since then, the Republican-controlled Senate has offered no indication of even hearing the accomplished judge’s case for a seat on the Supreme Court bench.
“The doors in here are heavily padlocked, no doubt to keep the press away,” Garland said, sidestepping a spilled bucket of feces. “But Ruth Bader Ginsburg brings me a mayonnaise sandwich sometimes. That’s nice.”
Despite little to no hope for a Supreme Court nomination in 2016, if ever, Garland remains optimistic and a staunch supporter of his country’s judicial process.
“And at this point, my car has no doubt been towed,” Garland said. “I might as well wait it out.”