George R.R. Martin to Begin Killing Off Audience

George R R Martin

SANTA FE – Game of Thrones is well known for killing characters and keeping its audience on their toes. But series author George R.R. Martin intends to shake things up even further by announcing that he will begin killing off members of the audience as well.

“I’m always looking to upend tropes,” Martin explained with a psychotic gleam in his eye. “And I can think of none greater than that of the audience being a passive party. People just assume that because they are not actually living in a fictional world they are safe from the dangers within. My goal is to say, ‘No, you are not.’”

Fans will have a lot of surprises and emotional gut punches in store, and sometimes in a very literal sense. Martin promises that fans will not see the twists and turns coming, least of all when the head of the person they were watching the latest episode with is cut off by the White Walker who wandered into their living room.

Anticipation is already growing as the world waits to see what new forms of emotional and physical devastation Martin unleashes. Already 70% of planned weddings have been canceled. Martin also assured reporters that book readers will still have surprises waiting for them.

“You’ll never know if that paper cut you got flipping the pages of The Winds of Winter will be your undoing,” Martin said.

When asked if there were any other details he would be willing to divulge, Martin smiled and explained that it would be in the public’s best interest to avoid areas that experience winter and to learn everything we could about Greyscale. The author also said there was a really good chance he would kill off a child from the Make-A-Wish Foundation who had asked if Martin would let him know how his epic would end.

“No one is safe,” Martin said with finality.



Robot Butt News Corp.

Author: Robot Butt News Corp.

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