Bernie Sanders Mouths ‘Help Me’ Into TV Camera

Bernie Vows to fight on


SANTA MONICA, Calif. – Following Tuesday’s primary results, which saw Bernie Sanders failing to secure the primary upset he was hoping for, the Vermont senator vowed to continue his fight to the Democratic Convention, before quickly mouthing “Help me” into an ABC News camera.

Reviewing the incident, many pundits questioned its meaning and expressed concern for the spirited Cinderella candidate, with one commentator calling it “deeply troubling.”

“It’s clear from the footage that Mr. Sanders requires assistance,” MSNBC’s Rachel Maddow said. “Anyone who can reach out to him at this time, please do so.”

Leading theories for Sanders’ actions include that he is being held against his will and forced to run for president, possibly since the beginning of his primary bid, or that he is psychologically compelled to keep campaigning and potentially experiencing a mental health emergency.

Clinical psychologist David Andreev elaborates: “Either option is a distinct possibility. Mr. Sanders exhibits the kind of erratic behavior, facial tics and mania one could expect to see from someone under extreme duress, such as in a hostage situation. Though he really seems to believe this stuff, so it’s entirely likely we’ve all been watching the public deterioration of a 74-year-old man in need of help. We’ll just have to wait and see.”

Other experts have stressed that the possibility of a gypsy curse should not be ruled out, while some have theorized that Sanders is actually an android that has slowly gained sentience but lacks autonomy.

“It could all be a joke, right? A weird joke, sure, but that’s sort of Bernie,” CNN’s Anderson Cooper said. “If not, hang in there, buddy.”

Reached for comment about the occurrence, Hillary Clinton staffers stated they hope the Vermont senator receives the help he needs, but that they’re chiefly concerned about the candidate in full control of her faculties.



Robot Butt News Corp.

Author: Robot Butt News Corp.

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