High School Friend Presumed Republican

Republican Friend

AKRON, Ohio – Citing numerous status updates and linked articles from the Drudge Report over the past five years, Ben Jeppers has come to the conclusion that Clint Howitz, his friend from high school, is now a Republican.

“It all started when I noticed a post on his wall that mentioned some good things about John McCain,” Jeppers said. “This was back when we were all young and everyone was still on the Obama hype train, so I knew something about him was different. I posted that GIF of Obama kicking in the door, and Clint didn’t ‘like’ it. How does a normal, young person not get a huge thrill from seeing their sitting president kick in a door? Things weren’t adding up.”

For Jeppers, the signs had been there all along, but only until recently was he able to put the pieces of the puzzle together. After seeing Howitz comment on several memes from The Comical Conservative, it became obvious.

“You can only post so many Heritage Foundation articles before someone is going to catch on,” Jeppers said. “I just wish he would come out and say it so we could have one good Facebook wall brawl and be done with it. I’m getting worried that other people will think I’m one of them because we’re friends on Facebook. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.”

Jeppers isn’t sure he’ll stay friends with Howitz, claiming the differences in their lifestyles are too great. Jeppers worries he wouldn’t know what to say to his potential future children about his friend with an alternative lifestyle.

“How do you look your children in the eyes and say to them ‘I don’t agree with it, but we have to respect it?’” he said. “It’s a situation I personally would be a lot more comfortable not being in.”



Robot Butt News Corp.

Author: Robot Butt News Corp.

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