Man Slowly Coming to Terms of Agreement With Apple

Accepting Apple Terms and Conditions

SAN FRANCISCO – A months-long nightmare for local resident Michael Braun neared its end yesterday as he resigned himself to the terms and conditions of his agreement with Apple, one of the world’s largest electronics companies.

Friends and family noted that Braun had not been himself lately as he struggled to face the truths of his situation. “He’s been really down. It’s felt like something has been eating away at him,” said girlfriend Heather Hellmuth. “It’s a big deal, whatever it is.”

The slide into melancholy started when Braun purchased a MacBook for personal use. “I thought it would be cool to try out GarageBand and maybe do a little video editing,” Braun said. “That was five months ago.”

According to multiple sources, Braun clicked to accept the terms and conditions, but wasn’t prepared for the emotional impact of such a decision. “You know how sometimes it feels like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders? It’s the opposite of that,” Braun said.

Corporate law specialist Clive Johnson says this isn’t uncommon. “Your brain treats terms and conditions agreements and privacy policies like a drug,” he said. “Some people click it once and never think about it again while others fall victim to them. You either come to terms with them or….they come to terms with you.”

When Apple was contacted for comment, an automated system clearly stated that “by accepting terms and conditions, the user gives up the right to their financial, social and emotional lives. So if that’s why you’re calling, tough shit.”

 

 




Robot Butt News Corp.

Author: Robot Butt News Corp.

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