Hurtful Things My Boyfriend (The Secondhand Store Clothing Buyer) Said During Our Break-Up


“Unfortunately, I do have to pass on all of you at this time.”

“You are not a size that’s in demand.”

“This isn’t the right season.”

“You’re perfectly nice, I’m just supersupersuper picky right now.”

“You just look a little too well-loved.”

“Frankly, you look a little pilled.”

“It seems like you’re coming a bit unraveled.”

“I’m looking for more current models right now.”

“You are covered in dog hair, which I can’t accept for obvious reasons.”

“Do feel free to clean things up and try again, though!”



Brooke Preston

Author: Brooke Preston

Brooke Preston is a writer and performer of comedy. She borrowed your flat iron and forgot to return it. She is sorry. Follow Brooke on Twitter @bigu.

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